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Name:Earth Defense Force 2017
Platform:Xbox 360 (Exclusive)
Genre:Arcade Shooter
Ever wondered what Starship Troopers would be like if the bugs weren't so much threatening, as they were just plain big? Ever wondered if having a spinal cord is actually a detriment to the human race's ability to shoot things? Ever wished you lived in a world where a single rocket could take down a skyscraper, only to have that same skyscraper rebuilt by the end of the day? Well friend, you aren't alone. A little known company by the name of Sandlot seems to have done enough drugs to not only think of these questions, but to put a fair amount of work into answering them. This answer has come to us in the form of Earth Defense Force 2017, a release from 2007 that manages to be nothing but dumb fun but has the lasting power to be dumb fun for a long time.
Gameplay
The story, as expected of a budget title like this, is negligible. Aliens invade Earth and only the Earth Defense Force can save us! That being said, it's a wonder the Earth is still around by the end of the game. Taking on the role of a faceless soldier referred to only as "Storm 1", the designation of the unit you're supposed to be fighting with but will most often use as human shields, your mission is to defeat The Ravagers. With a name like The Ravagers however, you'd expect something with a little... panache. Unfortunately, all you get are giant killer ants, giant spiders and generic looking enemy robots. What makes these things worth killing however are the sheer scale of them. Everything in this game is HUGE, with robots towering well above nearly any of the buildings in the city you spend the better part of the game in. The ants are roughly three times the height of your character and scurry up buildings, under bridges and just about wherever the hell they feel like being with alarming speed. As if this sheer scale weren't enough to make an unlimited supply of ammo and over 171 collectible weapons a good time, the number of enemies at any given time would give even the most hardened alien-genocide fanatic cause to pause for a moment and wonder if running the other way was a better option.
Thankfully, while your teammates are little more than tools to buy yourself a few extra seconds before the horde turns its attention to YOU, the weapons the game grants you evens things out nicely. Weapons are organized into several simple categories:
- 1. Assault Rifles -- Fast firing, powerful, medium range
2. Shotguns -- ...It's a shotgun
3. Rocket Launchers -- Good for ground targets, quick reloads and good blast radii
4. Sniper Rifles -- Slow firing but obscenely powerful, good for large targets only
5. Missiles -- Ground to air, generally have homing capabilities
6. Grenades -- Grenades, Grenade Launchers, what more do you want?
7. Special Weapons -- Automated turrents, acid guns and assorted goodies
With enough weapons to suit anyones bug-killing fancy, this game if nothing else makes alien genocide easily accessible to even the most causal gamer, while still allowing them to enjoy the wonders of a 20 meter blast radius on rapid fire rockets. This is all the more entertaining if only because nearly everything in the game is destructible. Bored? Level a few city blocks before taking out the bugs. Level some suburbs if only to get all those damn civilians to finally evacuate. Whatever you want! The game also offers a rarely seen split-screen co-op mode that allows 2 players to commit these war crimes together. Arguably this the best and only way to play this game as playing by yourself can get somewhat tedious and lets face it, sad, by the 30th or 40th level. Simple concept, simple controls, simple game! Simple. No?
Graphics
Unfortunately however, once you look past the surprisingly solid and fun gameplay mechanics, the game falls apart faster than Hack & Slash after a run-in with Bob. The graphics are clean, sure, but they're perhaps TOO clean. The city seems simplistic and while there are a lot of aliens they're all just duplicates of each other. Once they introduce the main 4 categories of enemies (Ants, Spiders, Giant Robots, Aerial Gunships) the only variation to them comes in the form of red ants, red aerial gunships and smaller giant robots. With 53 levels (albeit most are beaten in a matter of minutes) this can get a little repetitive no matter how many awesome weapons you throw in. Every EDF soldier looks the same with the only variation being commanders wear red helmets while everyone else wears gray. The game also suffers from serious slowdown in some parts due to the sheer number of nasty bug things crawling all over everything, or if you're doing it right, the number of explosions occurring at any given time.
All of the alien ships are shiny metal, not exactly what you'd expect from a race that seemingly consists of massive insects and Godzilla-wannabe 120ft monsters. Everything with them is polished chrome, EVERYTHING. The level design as well could use a little work. There's 4 or 5 environments throughout the 53 levels, and one or two variations on those environments but nothing that'll bring back a sense of freshness.
Audio
The voice acting in this game, surprisingly, isn't bad. I mean, it isn't fantastic, but it isn't Baiden Kaidos-esque in its sheer levels of ear-clutchingly horrible. What really makes the audio in this game however isn't how people say things, but the things they say. This game sports some of the corniest lines I've heard in a video game since... well... Zero Wing. I'm not sure if it's a translation thing, or if they just didn't put any effort into the writing, but I enjoyed every line that either the Commander or my fellow EDF cannon-fodder uttered... gems such as:
"HQ, HQ! The nest is just too full of bugs! We're all gonna die if we don't get out of here! Requesting permission to retreat!" ".....Permission Denied. Keep fighting!"
"we're on a thrilling underground expedition!"
"It's storm 01....he's still fighting and giving it all he's got!"
Or my personal favorite...
Lets get out of here and get a bite to eat!
I don't think there's much else I need to say about that. The guns sound good, and the explosions are VERY satisfying. Lots of room shaking bass combined with, once again, the sheer scale of the visuals involved in these explosions are entertaining even if the bug that just blew up wasn't.
Overall, I enjoy this game. I imagine I will be for awhile still, especially as a good game to pick up with a friend and kill a few hundred bugs in a very short amount of time... alcohol or drugs as well could only make this game that much better. I recommend it to anyone that can get a copy, but don't pay over $15 for it... I don't need anyone coming after me for their money back.
Graphics -- 5/10
Audio -- 6/10
Gameplay -- 10/10
Overall -- 7/10
